Trying to think of something to write about. I want to break new ground. Want something original, not familiar. Maybe I should try different structures…
I’ve also considered signing up for a Summer II course, mostly because my brain feels mossy. But I’m not sure that it’s worth me taking anything at UNT now.. well, it’s probably not. What I need are classes that will apply toward a major, and I need advising to take those, and the classes will most likely all be at Texas Women’s.
I could read instead. The last Harry Potter book still beckons. I feel a little afraid to pick it up, so I haven’t yet, because I know it’ll suck me in. Maybe that’s what I need, though. It’s not escapism for me, because the magic and imagination are part of my life… They dance and weave through my footsteps as a natural part of living. Harry Potter would be an addition to the magical side of things, which have been running low as of late. Lately, I feel like my head is being hit by a metal bar all the time, like I keep banging my forehead into it without seeing it. Mossy and bruised.
I need to repeat something to myself, which is:
The two-week Justin relationship was not my fault.
The two-week Justin relationship was not my fault.
The two-week Justin relationship was not my fault.
The two-week Justin relationship was not my fault.
The two-week Justin relationship was not my fault.
The two-week Justin relationship was not my fault.
The two-week Justin relationship was not my fault.
The two-week Justin relationship was not my fault.
The two-week Justin relationship was not my fault.
The two-week Justin relationship was not my fault.
Not. My. Fault. I had every intention of staying with him for a long time, of having summer adventures with him, talking to him about being around nature and God and stuff. I wasn’t a floozy. I didn’t plan a fling. It’s not my fault that he decided to pack up and leave without even trying.
I need to make a list.
My Strengths
*I have fluency and facility with words, pretty much an unintimidated command of language (in writing, not necessarily when speaking).
*I can carry a tune and have a pretty pleasing tone to my voice. There is potential that I have yet to fulfill with that, mostly because I’m too scared to practice where people can hear me.
*I have a vivid and powerful imagination. It has the power to buoy me tremendously, but likewise can cause other more negative states when a bad purpose fuels it.
*I’m pretty fit. I’ve been given a gracefully proportioned body and face, actually very pretty hair, even natural slenderness. I’m really blessed physically… the only problem is that it makes me feel guilty enjoying my body when I know other people haven’t been given as much to begin with… but on the other hand, I remember that my friend Sara got mad at me when I was self-conscious and didn’t enjoy the body I’ve been given.
*I can make myself impervious to other’s opinions.
*For most activities, when I decide that I want to do them, I can do them.
*I have a good memory.
*I’m a good speller and grammarian, generally speaking.
I think I’ll bike to Texas Women’s now. I need some exercise. I’ve got to clear away this moss.
labile 