Process

That’s it. New blog. In Steven’s blog-a-list it says “frollicking [sic] ponies”. TOO INTERRUPTED.

I’m on a rising wave of transformation anyway. I can still feel terrified of everything, but I’m gathering, incubating, and learning. I spread orange-white Mexican cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, cilantro, and feta cheese on tacos today at the Denton Arts & Jazz Festival (Fuzzy’s Taco Shop booth!) I got there feeling relaxed. Then the anxiety scrunched up around me. Then I concentrated on what my hands were doing. I felt what it was like to talk to other people and feel safe in yourself; it’s like throwing a rope out and they choose to catch it, most likely they will (optimism). After the first conversation I had with a pre-nursing major from Orange, Texas… what was her name. Aw man. Well, as we were talking about majors, hometowns, and Denton panic started. What if a new conversation topic didn’t come up? What if she became really attached to me and wanted to be friends and hang out after this? It seemed like I would have to keep being polite and try to be amusing for the years of our mismatched friendship… What? What is this, Angela? Not all relationships are either BFF! or Nighthawks stranger. Such strong black-and-white thinking presides in me. I can see it and reside in it simultaneously…

Later at home today, I looked at Joe’s Facebook page, and then I looked at his intriguing hipster?/anti-hipster?/beyond-hipster? friend Tess’s page and found this website called adbusters.org. Oh lemme do that linky thing. This site. This site hosts the kind of thought that is blanket wrapped around me.

Waffle sends sad eyes my way to be petted. New blog coming!