roommate: Ashleigh Abbott

I like saying people’s names specifically on here, because I wouldn’t write anything that I wouldn’t tell them to their face. So if she Google searches her own name and finds it, I don’t care.

The passive-aggressive note-leaving has begun. I almost texted her “We are not going to begin passive-aggressive notes. Talk to people.” But that would be like another note. It’s true that we mainly see each other in passing. Still, it seems to me like talking face-to-face is much healthier; it’s a dialogue, then, and not someone taking presumed command of what needs to be done then getting angry when others don’t comply. She pretty much threw a Helen Keller fit on Monday. Only at that point did I get any inkling that Waffle’s chewing old, moldy loaves of bread from the compost really bothered her. And that was a guess at what was behind it. Because she never said anything. And still hasn’t. And yeah putting Waffle’s bread bones into words does sound disgusting, but it honestly hadn’t crossed my mind and obviously didn’t bother me (and still doesn’t). And it’s not up to me to troll the waters of every roommate and deduce how she feels, even though I try to do that anyway. But ultimately, if she’s not going to bring something up, what do I do? Suggest, “Hey, some of my actions seem to be bothering you. What can I do to modify them to please you?” Already that seems unequal. There’s no opening left to decide whether it’s something I change, she changes, or both of us, or someone else in the house, you know.

I developed tolerance from interactions early in my life, well, like from twelve years old onward… I realize  that when I see roommates go through this anguish because not everything in the house goes their way. I’ve already passed through the shock and seeming violation that other people live in different ways from mine. !